Emotion in Presentations

Just before the holidays, a dear friend and colleague of mine emailed me to get some advice on how to maintain emotional control during a presentation. He was closing his business of twenty years and was being given a farewell party by his biggest client. Knowing that he would be called to the podium, he was concerned that, in the emotion of the moment, he would blubber like a fool.

Maintaining composure and keeping uncontrolled emotion out of our presentations is what most business presenters know as the standard. Yet what to do when you are speaking about a situation or event where you're feeling emotionally vulnerable?

Here's the advice I gave my friend:

• Keep the audience and their needs foremost in your mind. They may appreciate seeing you display genuine emotion, given the situation, but they will be mighty uncomfortable if you start sobbing uncontrollably. The more you can remember to force yourself to be "out there with the audience" the less time you'll have available to be in your own head, worrying about choking up. As Dr. Nick Morgan says in his brilliant post about this topic, it's up to the presenter to read the audience and see how much emotional display will be appropriate.

• Don't wing it. Prepare your remarks ahead of time. As with any presentation, in the moment you may be overtaken by nerves, emotion or stage fright. The better prepared you are, the more likely you'll still be able to open your mouth and have something intelligible come out [...even though you might not remember what you said].

• Make your remarks short and sweet. Hone them until they say exactly what you want them to in the least amount of words. If you are struggling with your emotions, this means you’ll only be "up front" for a brief time.

• Although you may want to include comments and stories that are poignant, look for the least mushy way of expressing your gratitude, joy, regret, sympathy or whatever. If you stay away from the really sentimental content, it will be easier to keep control.

• Practice, practice, practice. This is the step everyone agrees with and no one does. But it is the one thing that can make the most difference. When you’re up in front of the audience, you don’t want to worry about forgetting what you wanted to say in addition to managing your emotions. If you practice enough so that you cement your remarks, then you can devote all your energy to managing the emotional response.

• Visualize how it will go – you delivering the remarks, accepting peoples’ accolades and clapping and still maintaining composure. Visualize the struggle to maintain composure and then being successful at it. Do this visualization multiple times so that when you get to the real thing, it will be like…been there, done that.

• Aim for keeping composure, but don’t be too hard on yourself. Give yourself permission to have a bit of a catch in your voice or get a bit misty-eyed [the operative word being 'bit']. If your subconscious knows that you have this latitude, it will be easier to maintain control.

• Don’t forget to breathe. That sounds pretty basic, but when we’re nervous, we tend to breathe very shallowly and this prevents sufficient oxygen from getting to the brain which in turn produces physical symptoms like shaky hands, quavering voice and tears. Do some deep breathing throughout the day of the presentation, including just before you speak.

For these techniques to really work -- and they will -- you have to be intentional about them and incorporate them into your preparation earlier than the morning of the event.

And so how did my friend do?

He came through with flying colors. In his own words, he had a "little quiver when thanking my staff but a quick recovery." And with the success of the presentation behind him, he was then free to enjoy the bottle of 2002 Dom Perignon he was given.

 

Photo Credit:
Flickr/Nino llorando  C.C. 2.0

 

Comments

[Kathy Reiffenstein]

Hi Tom,

I'm so glad you found the post useful.

One other thing I would add is, since you're in effect saying goodbye, think of the way you'd like your audience to remember you. And then let that image guide you as you prepare your remarks.

And don't forget to practice, practice, practice.

Best of luck with your retirement speech.

Best,
Kathy

[Tom Brown]

Kathy - Your information is simply outstanding. I have made business related presentations for over 40 years without issue with the exception of when I speak of my managers and other personnel that work closly with me. I get an emotional "catch" in my voice. I've managed through this over the years, but now I am facing my own retirement speech and went looking for help as I don't want to lose control and make a fool of myself.

[Kathy Reiffenstein]

Hi Telonius,

Thanks for your comments.

Yes, I agree that it is not at all good to detach entirely from one's emotions. We need to show enthusiasm and even sadness or outrage, as appropriate.

The key with the speaker showing emotion is to consciously be aware of the audience's comfort/discomfort continuum. No matter how genuine the speaker's emotion about a particular subject may be, if it makes the audience uncomfortable, the impact of the speaker's message will be lost.

Best,
Kathy

[Telonius]

I think it is not necessary to detach completely from one's emotions. They also help to make a natural and kind impression on the audience. But one should keep the awareness on the outside, as was mentioned in the post, and not get overwhelmed by the own feelings or confuse the audience.

They say that belly breathing activates the parasympathetic nerves and help to stay calm and reduce fright. Deep breathing helped me to settle my mind. Maybe not as deeply as suggested;-)

Telonius

[Kathy Reiffenstein]

HI Fred,

Thanks for your comment. I do hope you meant *G*ood and not just odd!! :)

I always get a laugh in my classes when I tell participants that "you never make a mistake or stumble on your words when you just think the words in your head -- in fact there, you are generally brilliant! But when you open your mouth, often it's a very different scenario."

Best,
Kathy

[Fred E. Miller]

ood and timely Post!

It's very important, as you pointed out, to Practice - Practice - Practice!

Practice out loud! Intellectualizing the speech in your mind is not the same as speaking the words. There is a HUGE Difference.

[Kathy Reiffenstein]

Hi Deven,

Thanks for your thoughtful comments.

By no means am I suggesting that a speaker detach themselves or disengage emotionally from their audience. My advice is simply to be very aware of what level of emotion and emotional control will be appropriate for each audience.

For example, some audiences will be fine and comfortable with a speaker shedding a few tears when discussing a particularly poignant subject or event. But other audiences [think formal, corporate group] may well not be fine with that level of emotional display.

It all comes down to knowing enough about your audience to determine their level of comfort with emotional "displays" like tears or anger, and then reading their reactions, in the moment, to make any necessary course corrections.

Best,
Kathy

[Deven Pravin Shah]

Hi Kathy:

From my experience, emotions is what helps me connect with the audience.

Are you suggesting detaching emotionally to keep the calm and composure? If yes, wouldn't it make the speech harder to connect? I would love to hear your ideas on it.

For me, a couple of things help keep control. Have the theme and purpose of the presentation clear in my mind. And have the key points down. And then develop them while speaking. I love the spontaneity while speaking, and still keeping it anchored to the plan.

[Kathy Reiffenstein]

Hi Simon,

Thanks for stopping by! And you are SO right. Any breathing is better than holding your breath (!), but for the best results, deep, abdomen breathing is most effective.

Best,
Kathy

[Simon Raybould]

All good stuff - but don't forget that breathing low, into your abdomen, is the most effective way, not just 'breathing' ;)

It's one of the techniques I teach my clients! And I'm sure you do too! :)